Staying home: homeschooling

Well,  not going to lie -- I am LOVING the opportunity I have homeschooling Mason.  He has done a fantastic job!  I am learning, however,  that the success of homeschooling rests mainly with me and my consistency.  Mason will feed off of me.  He doesn't always feel like having school.  There are added distractions at home that can make paying attention more difficult (your own toys only feet away is one!).  We've maintained out schedule so far (knock on wood) have maintained the house as well!  In fact, in many ways, I feel like the structure in the morning actually helps me stay on task.  We'll see how it goes the rest of the year,  but so far- so good!  

 

For those curious about Ian during this time- well, he kinda goes along with us.  He loves calendar time and the songs.  When it's one for seat work- he loves to watch Elmo singing on the computer.  When mason is done with school - they both play toys while I clean up the kitchen.  I try to get the other things like beds made, laundry, etc.  done before school starts :)- some days are successful and some aren't- and that's okay!  

Any questions about our day?  Just ask!

Disney Surprise Vacation

Well we did it!  We pulled off one of the greatest surprise trips for our kids.  We surprised them one morning with a trip to Disney World- that day!  We told the boys that we would be taking a trip to Kansas City.  We said we had some really fun things planned and had even arranged to ride in a plane for a little bit!  They were thrilled, but had no real idea what type of vacation they were in for.  We had planned not to disclose our trip details until we were on the plane, however, thinking that people might mention or ask them about Disney (since we were flying to Orlando), we decided that 5:00am that morning would work!! :)

THE REVEAL

We created a video for them to watch that gave a replay of all the fun we had this summer.  It went through the different activities, accomplishments, and just fun times together.  At the end of the video, I announced that they weren't over with their summer just yet!   I made the announcement that we would be flying to Disney World!  Their reaction- priceless!!  I have a VERY emotionless son.  He is one that will open a present that he really wants on Christmas and will give no indication of the excitement he has in receiving it.  However, with the announcement of a trip to Disney World, even THIS son gave a great reaction!!

click THE REACTION  to see a video of them watching the video! :)

THE TRIP

The trip to Disney World was AMAZING!  It truly IS a magical place.  My boys (ages 7, 4, and 19 months)  were in love with every aspect of Disney World.   I was a little curious how they would react to the characters since they are boys and not just overly excited about Winnie the Pooh and Mickey Mouse cartoons anymore.  To my surprise, they LOVED them- ALL of them!!  They wanted to watch every parade, meet and take pictures with the characters, hunt the characters down at the partks, etc.  We also would HIGHLY recommend two things to anyone taking a trip to Disney World:  Park Hopper & Meal Plan.   Those were life savers for us!  We also took a backpack full of ponchos, snacks, autograph books, squirt fans, sunscreen, tylenol, etc.   This was also a huge life saver when you are on the move all day long!

If you have boys, a MUST do is the Jedi Training Academy!  Probably my favorite part of the whole trip!  Get there early though-- it books up fast!





* for more helpful tips-- go visit the Disney Diva

THE REVIEW

Over all, best family trip ever!!!  We are already planning to see Mickey next year! :)

Staying Home: The Guilt

I think every mom faces some kind of guilt.  Either guilt because they are working and are unable (or don't want to) stay home, or guilt that they do stay home and are not contributing financially to the family.

I have now been on both sides of the guilt.  Last year, I had a terrible time dropping my two youngest off at daycare each day.  I was constantly reminded how half of my check goes for someone else to watch my children.  I loved the people who were with them, but hated that it wasn't me holding them before nap and talking with them through out the day.  I also had guilt that I missed several of my eldest's school activities.  Sure I could get someone to cover my class for about 15 min or so, but that wasn't enough to go to all the singing activities, parties, etc.  The guilt of not being able to be a "mom" was very difficult for me.

On this end, there is a guilt.  I get to do what I want and LOVE to do.  Sure there are difficult and stressful days, but ultimately, I know that I'm so fortunate to be with my kids all day.  The guilt comes in when I realize that my husband now bears all the financial weight for our family.  He is the sole provider and with his type of job, this is just added stress.  We have to watch our budget a lot closer and  really plan things out.  This was something that with two incomes, were were fortunate not to have to do as stringently.  I have a guilt when I get up in the morning and am still in my PJs while he is dressed in his slacks and dress shoes walking out the door.  Not being able to add financial support to our family does leave one with a type of guilt and often makes you question.  Is it too much stress on my husband?  Is this really the right thing?

I find that during these times of guilt and doubt, I simply pray.   I pray that God would continue to lead our family and bless the opportunity he has blessed us with this year.  I also pray that I would be open to whatever He has planned for me.   I pray that the conviction and passion for me to stay at home is just as strong for my husband as it is for me.  I too pray that my eyes and ears would be open.  We chose for me to stay home to better our family, if my husband is overly stressed-- it is not for the betterment of our family.  I want to be open to signs of this.  In addition to prayer, I simply talk with my husband.  I want to know how he is feeling and what I can do to support him.

I know there will come a time for both of us when we want something.  Something that isn't needed- just simply a want.  I also know that we will realize that we could have that "want" if I were working.  I pray at those times we closely evaluate our situation and look at what God is telling us.  It will be easy to forget the many hours of work and time away that my job requires.  It will also be easy to forget how much help I need around the house and with the kids when I am working-- may God remind us of this when we start to look at the upcoming years.  I believe God can use me for His glory regardless of whether I work or not.  I do believe there is an element of choice there.  However, I also want to make sure that we are choosing what is best for our family- and not just us!

**PS... I did not get to proofread this at all- if there are errors, forgive me! My children woke up and the day needed to get started!!

Staying Home: Cleaning Schedule

Well, the number one reason we decided for me to stay home was for our kiddos.  The number two reason- to keep up the house!  I would suggest to anyone planning on staying home to discuss what the expectation is for when you are at home and make sure that you agree.  Many people view staying at home differently and it can be very frustrating for one or both people if they aren't on the same page.  My husband and I discussed this in the early stages of planning for me to stay home.  We talked about his goals and expectations for me and what I believed my goals and expectations were.  Luckily, they were pretty close.

My husband shared early on in our marriage that a clean house was important to him; perhaps more so than for most people.  In knowing this, I try my best to keep the house as clean as possible.  This has been a TON easier now that I am not at work most of the day and grading the rest of the evening!  I did find, however, that when I started my day thinking I'm going to clean the whole house that I accomplished very little OR I accomplished a lot, but felt overwhelmed and pushed aside my kids (my #1 reason for being at home in the first place.)  To help me better manage my time, my frustration, and spending time with the boys,  I came up with a cleaning schedule!  Now don't laugh... it sounds ridiculous, however- boy, it sure does help me feel accomplished!  I actually spend less time cleaning because it is focused and already planned out- no thinking about what I should do next.  Here is a little sample of what my schedule looks like:

EVERY MORNING:
Make beds
Load/Unload dishwasher
*Laundry
**Quick Glance over the bathrooms
Chore of the day

EVERY AFTERNOON/EVENING:
Sweep kitchen floor
Load/Unload dishwasher for next day
Pick-up living room

*This may be folding, putting a new load in, switching out the loads, etc.  It also may not need to be done- but I would go around and check all baskets to make sure

**This is just to make sure that if a stranger were to need to use the restroom it would be presentable.  I make sure the potty looks okay and all morning items (make-up, deodorant, toothbrush, etc.) are put back in the drawers.

CHORES:
Monday- Deep Vacuum (this is bedrooms, rugs, stairs, hallway)
Tuesday- Windows and Mirrors (my least favorite day!)
Wednesday- Deep Clean Bathrooms (this means scrubbing tubs, showers, sinks, around the potty, etc.)
Thursday- Mop
Friday- ROTATING CHORE***
SATURDAY/ SUNDAY- Only what is necessary for Monday to operate (emergency laundry, pick-up kitchen, etc.)  I try to take the weekends off as much as possible and spend time with the hubby and kids!

ROTATING SCHEDULE:
1st Friday- wipe down all cabinets
2nd Friday- clean baseboards
3rd Friday- clean fans and furniture
4th Friday- spot clean all rugs and upholstery
5th Friday- Doesn't happen often- so take the day off :)


This doesn't always work out.  I might get things done quickly and decide to do the next day's chore just because I can and have time.  Or... I might have something come up and not get that day done at all.  It's okay-- this just gives my mind some sort of plan for the day and allows me to tell myself, "you're done.. you accomplished your cleaning goal for the day!  Go play with the boys!!"

Staying Home: Part 1- Training the Boys

My husband and I decided last December that I would stay home this upcoming school year.  We prayed about it, looked at our finances, and decided we would take it one year at a time.   I've stayed home before, but never to JUST be a stay at home mom.  I've always been building my own business as a massage therapist, or working on finishing my elementary ed. degree.   This, however, is the first time we've made the decision for me to stay at home for the sole purpose of being with our children and taking care of our home.

A great passion God has laid upon my heart the past few years was training my boys up to be holy men of God.  This goes against EVERYTHING our culture puts in front of them.  Men of God that honor God with their lips and their actions.  Who choose wisely the people they associate themselves with and watch how they lead others.  I know that training them the way that God instructs in His Word would take time and effort!  This became priority number 1 in me staying home.  The boys needed to know that we loved them and valued them.  I know that I need to attend my oldest son's school parties, spend quality time with the younger boys, and purposefully teach them God's instructions for their lives.

Knowing that Gavin will be going to school in a few short weeks and not having the extra income, we decided that for Mason's preschool this year, I would homeschool him.  I'm super excited about this opportunity and have already begun looking over the curriculum.  I am choosing to use the A Beka program.  I know this will bring about its own challenges, but am excited for this time to teach my own child for a change!  I'm sure many of my future blogs will be focused on what mistakes I've made and lessons learned from the homeschooling process!!

-- --Now, I'm not going to say that any mom who works is being a bad mom.  I certainly do not believe that- in fact, just as stated earlier in my post, we are taking it one year at a time.  I may only be home for a total of one year!  However, for our family during this year, this is what God has called us to.  My mom worked and did  (and still does) a fantastic job of being there for me.  I also know that God can be glorified in whatever you decide is right for your family.  -- --

How can you join us in training our boys?  Prayer for the following:

Some additional ways that we are purposefully training our boys is through instilling faithfulness in his word (see Breakfast with God post), teaching the Fruits of the Spirit (click here for more details), and then several things through out their daily living.  One area we have chosen to focus on as a family is purity of the eyes and mind.  This means that in our household, we don't watch certain tv shows or see certain movies!  Talk about setting yourself apart and putting yourself in position for some awkward moments!! Kasey and I have been screening what we watch now for several years.  It has been such a blessing to see how it has drawn us intimately closer to one another and given us the blessing of knowing we are purposefully being proactive in our marriage.  Bringing this type of commitment into your children's lives can be difficult.  It's one thing for you to explain your decision to not watch certain movies to your family and friends, it's another to try and get your children to understand why they can't watch a movie that everyone else is watching!!  We've only had this incidence a couple of times, however I know it will get more difficult as they get older.  I'm already praying for wisdom and understanding during that trying time.   Feel free to join me in praying for the boys' strength to withstand the temptation of their eyes.  Such a vulnerable and tricky area for young (and grown) men.  It truly can be a slow fade that destroys so much more than they are ever aware of.  I also have begun praying right now that the young girls that will some day enter my boys' lives will help them remain pure in thought and action.  May they clothe themselves appropriately and act as an heir to the throne of God, so as to help not only my boys' to keep any covenant they make with their eyes, but the other young men around them striving for godliness.  This will be such a difficult battle as you can't even watch commercials or movie previews without having to be on guard.   Just as Job made a covenant with his eyes, so have we as a family made one with ours.  Read Job 31 for more insight :)

Thank you for joining us in prayer and taking the time to read this.  This is less than entertaining for most.  My idea is to journal the "WHY" we decided for me to stay home as a source of encouragement to me later.  There will be many days that I become "weary" in the training process.  I'm hoping that my heart will be recorded now, so that in those times, I'm reminded of what God called us to.  If I were to lose sight of the journey that we started, may this diary redirect me to the road we were called to walk along.

Playing the Piano

I took piano lessons when I was younger and use to be a decent piano player.  I use to LOVE to play the  piano when no one was home and there were no other noises in the house except for my fingers hitting the keys.  I would play songs from books, make up songs, or songs from memory.

Every once in a while, someone would want me to play for them.  I hated doing this!  I knew that I shouldn't feel that way, and I don't know how many times I was told that I needed to share my gift, but playing for other people made me nervous.  I would freeze and mess up EVERY time!  I would make silly mistakes, totally miss the melody, and just utterly embarrass myself.  It really took the joy of playing away from me.

I'll never forget playing in front of my childhood church one Sunday with the praise band.  I had to do an intro to a Jeremy Camp song.  I knew the intro- I could do it easily at home.   So that Sunday I stood in front of family and friends with a praise band waiting to join in after the piano intro.  I began playing and it went okay... for a total of 2 seconds- and then it was downhill from there.  I missed sharps that were suppose to be there, played flats that didn't belong, and totally messed up the rhythm to the praise song.  In fact, when it was time for the rest of the band to join in, they just looked at me like, "is it time!?"  I remember just nodding at the drummer.  He began and the rest of the band joined in and thankfully, praise was still offered to God that morning!!  That was, most definitely, the last time I played the piano in front of anyone.  In fact,  since I've been married (almost 9 years) I've lived without a piano in my house and hadn't touched the keys at all.

Today I cleaned out my garage and found a few of my favorite, old piano books.  I had a sudden urgency to play.  I had a rather frustrating and daunting day and NEEDED to be alone with my fingers spilling forth my thoughts and feelings.  I decided to go to my brother's house a little early to let their dog out.  I knew they would be gone for a little bit and my children were either napping or playing with friends.  When I sat down infront of the keyboard (not quite the same feeling as a piano- but I didn't care), I opened up the first book.  I was definitely rusty, but could still read music and struggled my way through the first song.  After that, I eased up a bit and just enjoyed the feeling of my fingers hitting the keys and the freedom to make music.  I'm sure I messed up the rhythm here and there, but it was okay-- it was like misspelling a word in your diary- you don't care because no one will ever read it.  It is just to get thoughts on paper.  For me, playing the piano was like writing in my diary.  Each time my fingers hit the keys and sound rang out, it was as if my feelings were being poured out on paper.  The unique thing is that when I feel relaxed and compelled on my own to play the piano, beautiful music can't help but come out.

I would never be able to do that if someone were standing right beside me or made a request for a particular song.

This started my heart pondering my spiritual life.  If I try to follow every good and well intending people's advice on how to please the Lord, then  I get overwhelmed and mess up.  The pressure is just too great- even if my desire is there.  However,  if I commit myself to the teaching of the word when I'm alone and talk with God, then not only is the desire to be holy there, but the freedom to do so is there as well.  When God, not man, puts the desire in me, then it becomes urgent in my heart.  Consequently, the beautiful music that is produced from that can't help but pour out -- regardless of anyone watching or not.

Choosing to Support-- A Commitment to My Husband

As mentioned in an earlier post, Lessons from a Mortgage Lender's Wife,  a mortgage lender's job is one with great amounts of stress.  There are people constantly putting you down, wanting things faster, and many times, wanting a different out come than what you can give.

What a helpless feeling to be the one to take the brunt of all complaints, hateful words, blame, and ultimately, your name and reputation put to the test.  Especially when so much of the process is out of your hands and you have no control on the timing of such events.  It is during these times I realize that my husband needs my support through my words, my actions, my prayers, and my willingness to be available to him-- not me trying to run the show on my terms to satisfy me.  Last Sunday we had a lesson on speaking wisely.

A word spoken at the right time is like golden apples on a silver tray.  -  Proverbs 25:11

Often, I get wrapped up in my day-to-day struggles and forget that my partner also faces great trials.  I tend to want to run my mouth before thinking-- complaining about how the kids behaved or what went wrong with my day.  Or, many times, I start off with great intentions.  I ask how his day went and when he doesn't offer a lot to the conversation, I start poking and prodding knowing full well that the time is not right.  If he shows any kind of frustration or hatefulness at me, I then say something to make him feel bad- not exactly golden apples in a silver bowl.  I desperately want to communicate and help in whatever way I can-- it just seems like sometimes I only want to help in the way I see best-- not the way that is truly helpful to him.

I have decided to choose to support him.  It's not like I haven't supported him all along, it's just that maybe I wasn't doing it in the most appropriate way.  Perhaps the right words for me, most of the time, are none at all-- or at least not when he just gets home.

I know that I will mess up and that it will take practice, but with God's help and direction, I believe I will start to find the right words (if any) at the right time.

In addition to watching my words, I know that part of my job in supporting my husband is to help alleviate stress.  I know that some ways I try to do this is by having a clean home when he arrives and having dinner made (or at least in the works) when he walks through the door.  I also try to surround my husband in prayer.  Every chance I get to pray for my husband, I do.  He is our leader after all, we should support him in the most powerful way possible!  Being available for my husband is another strategy I'm trying.  Being available to talk, to listen, to hold, etc.  This is often the most difficult for me.  I WANT to be available most of the time, but if I'm in a bad mood, or if I feel robbed of something- I often have a hard time choosing to support my husband through availability.

One of the best lessons I've ever learned about marriage was that it wasn't about me.  Sure I have needs and I want a lot of things out of our marriage- but that isn't the point.  My needs and dreams being met in our marriage is really just a biproduct of what a godly marriage is.  The real purpose in marriage is to be a visual picture of Christ and His church- His people.  Marriage is to show a lost world how Christ loves his people and how His people should follow and love Him.  That's God's whole purpose in marriage- to bring Him glory.  In doing this, we often reap the benefits that overflow from God's design.

It's kinda freeing knowing that I don't have to meet Kasey's needs- God will do that when I choose to follow God's plan.  Knowing that my role is one of support-- I must choose to be the church to the lost world.  I must choose to put myself aside and put my husband before me.  I must choose to support my husband so that he can lead our family properly.

Lord help me as I commit to supporting my husband.  May a lost world see your love for your people through our marriage.  May they see how the church should act toward Christ through my submission to my husband.

Breakfast with God

We are trying a new routine in the Cowger household.  For starters, we are training our kiddos to have a quiet time with God every morning.  In an effort to "train up a child," I decided that the first place to start is developing a love for God's word.  How do you do that when you have children who can't read?  Well that was where I struggled too!  After searching the web a little bit, I found one of the best ideas for my family: a breakfast basket.  At the center of my breakfast table there is a basket.  In the basket, there are prayer sticks (large Popsicle sticks with family and friends names written on them), bible study materials (kinda range by age), and about 200+ conversation starters (see link below).

Since the beginning of summer, I have been determined to get up and fix my children breakfast every day.  I really want to establish a routine of communication in the mornings before school starts.  I don't make anything fancy- just your regular pancakes, muffins, toast, waffles, etc.  The idea is not about showing off any gourme cooking skills (which I do not possess), but to set aside a time for my kids to connect with me in the morning.  This also seemed like the perfect time for them to start their day off with God and instill a passion for quiet time with their Creator.

For now, I have breakfast made and I help get the time with God started.  Ian, the 18 month old, looks at a picture prayer book and kinda just sits with us.  Mason has a cool devotion for boys ages 2-5 that I picked up several years ago.  I read the verse to him and let him look at the picture.  There is more to that devotional, but I'm not pushing too much right now.  For Gavin, we've been using his Bible and learning how to look up verses in the Bible: finding the book, the chapter, and the verse.  The boys have really enjoyed this special time.  Their favorite part is picking a prayer stick.  Whatever stick they pull out has a name on it.  That name is the person they are to pray for in the morning and through out the day.  They really get a kick out of this!!  The conversation cards are also pretty fun.  They are meant to be done at dinner time, but we've been using them in the morning as the last part of our time together.  They are really more for family and communication building so they've come at the end of our Breakfast with God time.

Don't be confused- this isn't a perfectly quiet time with very still children.  It is simply a time we are setting aside to instill a passion for spending time with The Creator.  The person who came up with the idea stated it this way, "It's not about perfection, but faithfulness."  I love that!  I'm not trying to have a perfectly quiet morning, but rather to teach faithfulness in the long haul.

** Please note that this is a compilation of SEVERAL different ideas I've found online.  I do NOT take credit for coming up with this on my own!  Just adapted it for my family and went with it :)

conversation starters - click here

My First Born Son

Seven years ago, as of yesterday, my first born son arrived on this earth.  I remember distinctly the sleepless night before his arrival, the 2am shower I took because I couldn't sleep, the feeling of anxiousness and excitement when arriving at the hospital at 5, and the shock of finding out I was in labor on my own!  Kasey was just as excited as I was, and we both could hardly contain ourselves as we waited for the moment we would put a face to the son we were already in love with.  Gavin was not only our first child, but the first Cowger grandson.

There is nothing quite like meeting your child for the first time.  Holding them close in your arms and feeling just an overwhelming sense of accomplishment and blessedness.  Their small body engulfed in your arms has such a way of stealing your heart and the breath right out of your chest.  Gavin Lee Cowger has blessed our lives from day one.  He was, and continues to be, such a mild tempered child that has a quiet sense of leadership and determination.   In his leadership, he also is very obedient and a great help with his two younger brothers.

Gavin LOVES sports and is very talented at them.  He listens intently to details and conversations (welcomed or not) and has an inquiring mind.  He also has such a security already in Jesus.  My prayer for Gavin is that he continues to grow in his love and friendship with Jesus.  I pray that his quiet leadership continues to grow in service and with a deep desire to share Christ with others.  I also pray that he uses whatever platform God grants him in the future to further His kingdom and to bring Him glory.

Through Gavin, God gave Kasey and I a deeper understanding of the Father's love for
us.  He also granted us with one of the biggest blessings in our lives.  We cherish every moment with Gavin.  While it saddens me to see him grow older, it also excites me for the things to come.  God has big plans for Gavin, and I can't wait to see how He uses his life to bring glory to Him.

Lessons from a mortgage lender's wife

This morning while dropping G off at soccer camp, I was praying for my husband.  Praying that he would have a blessed day and be a light to others.  He has recently had some stressful and dry times at work and I try and surround him with prayer as much as possible through out my day.  It was during this time of prayer that I realized how thankful I am for him.  God has given me an amazing partner in this marriage ministry.   My husband has worked so hard for me to be able to stay home and has grown so much professionally, as well as matured spiritually.  In this time of prayer and thankfulness, God  revealed three important lessons I've learned from my husband:  humility, conviction, and how you react under pressure speaks louder than any of your words.

Humility:

My husband is very good at his job, but he would never say so. Now I know I am bias, but I believe he truly IS great at what he does!   He has won the Sales and Service award twice (or maybe 3 times), Mortgage Lender of the Year twice, and some other award (not real sure what it is called.)  I, obviously, am so proud of him!  He didn't tell me of these awards, or anyone else for that matter.  I found the plaque and trophies in our closet!  When I asked them about them, he casually acknowledged them and went about his way.  I was shocked!!  Who wins awards and tells no one?!  I tried several times to get him to display these in his office.  It would be great for his clients to see that they are in good hands and that he is highly qualified.  However, Kasey felt like that was boasting and not needed.

It was then that I realized how humble he has become.  He felt no need to boast in himself (even if it would be a professionally wise decision).  This humility has come with his maturity in Christ and an area that is so beneficial for my children to see.

**On a side note, while I am blessed that my husband wished to be humble, I still would like to see his awards displayed in his office instead of on our dresser (where I placed them).


Conviction:

Perhaps one reason he has been so successful in his profession is his ability to conduct business with conviction.  Mortgage lending is a stressful job and often his part in the whole process is misunderstood.  It can, at times,  remind me of my first job in retail.

When I use to work in retail, I would be faced with customers daily who would complain about the prices in the store, the sale policy, the store layout, etc.  Often, especially during a stressful time like holidays, they would act just down right ridiculous!  I always found this interesting since I was just the messenger and completely powerless in any of the decision making process for the store.  I didn't set the prices, create the sale items, or the store layout.  I simply worked there and followed the rules.  There really was no need for them to be hateful to me or demand anything from me- I was helpless!

This is very much how my husband's job works!  He is simply the messenger in most cases.  He works for a fantastic bank that has a set formula on how they approve people for loans.  This is really for the customer and employees protection.  With that being said, he really can't decide- nor make any special exceptions, etc.- on who qualifies for a loan.  He also has no control what paper work is needed and when, if closing dates get pushed back, last minute changes, etc.  There are so many people behind the scenes in the mortgage process that no one can see. The lender is really the messenger in a lot of ways.  Now his job has more to it than just showing up of course, but there are so many variable that are out of his control and yet he is the one to break the news, whatever it may be.  The lender is the one you see and talk to (much like a clerk in a retail store).  He/she is the one who is going to take all the heat and angry comments- even when it is far removed from their hands.

Knowing that many of the anger is misdirected at him, he still maintains a level of conviction and compassion for his customers.  I saw him come home the other day obviously upset.  Something went wrong with a loan and he had to tell some clients that they were not able to close on the house they wanted-- three days before they were to close (YIKES!).  This is understandably very upsetting news and causes many people to get angry.  In fact, heart broken.  Since the lender, my loving husband,  is the only one they see (and often believe is the only one involved) in this process, the heat came down on him (even though it had nothing to do with him.)  While I probably would have been outraged at their behavior toward me and reacted less than honorably toward them, my husband took it all and felt awful for them.  He knew it wasn't his fault, but that didn't change how bad he felt for them.  He pondered all the different ways he could try and help them, or make it work, it just wasn't possible.  Wow!  If only they knew how much he was on their side!

He knows that a house is a big deal in people's life and he hates when it can't work out for people.  He came home not upset that he didn't get a loan  closed (since that is the only way he gets paid), not upset that he was yelled at, but upset that his clients will not be able to get the house they wanted.  Wow- what conviction!  He has such a good heart and operates with such integrity- even when it is undeserved.  How I love his heart!  He is teaching me to care for other's disappointment -- to bear their burdens.

How you act under pressure:

During my husband's first year as a Mortgage Lender we had a massive F5 tornado that decimated our town.  In this time, home loans were obviously needed and the mortgage lenders, title companies, and banks were swamped.   It was also during this time that we witnessed some amazing people overcome very traumatic events that took place in their lives.  It became obvious to us that how you act under pressure speaks so much louder than the words said.  My husband heard several stories of heartache and unspeakable loss.  Most people in these situations acted with such patience and thankfulness.  Many understood the incredible stress and overwhelming need, not just with them but for all their neighbors and businesses around them.

However, there were also those who didn't act so upstanding.  Sadly, one of the most horrific events my husband has endured as a lender was from a couple we use to worship with and call friends.  Unfortunately, due to such chaos, their closing date, along with countless others, had to be pushed back.  They were devastated which was expected, but the way in which they conducted themselves during their frustration was not one that reflected the people we believed them to be or what they said they stood for.   They not only withdrew their loan, but spoke awful about my husband and his bank on different online public platforms.  Not to mention how they treated him to his face.  This was particular hurtful and sad because they were, we thought, friends and fellow believers in Christ.

Perhaps what was more disturbing was that many who were non-believers in the same situation acted with more patience and compassion than those who claimed to be believers!  This became one of the greatest lessons we have ever learned-  how we act in stressful situations and treat those around us will speak so much louder than what we claim with our lips.  If we were non-believers and saw this behavior from those who claimed to have Christ in their lives, we would want nothing to do with that!  Especially in seeing how other non-believers handled themselves!  How careful we must be to guard our witness, even when faced with disappointment and tragedy.  It also makes me wonder,  have we also been guilty of this?  Have we acted out of frustration and anger and not reflecting the patience, grace, and mercy of Christ?  I'm sure we have- and therefore have been guilty of the same crime.  How I pray that God will forgive us for our selfishness and not let our mistakes be stumbling blocks to non believers around us.  We are not perfect-- that's exactly why we need Christ.   Since this happened, as hurtful as it was, we have forgiven them.  They may have not acted the way we had anticipated or the way in which they should've, but maybe they too have grown from it.



The Bible tells us that the man is the head of the house.  He is the one who is to lead.  I can say with certainty that observing my husband both professionally and personally, that he has been leading his family toward Christ.  He deserves all our respect and trust and we shall follow his lead.  While he certainly isn't perfect, he is a man continually growing and sacrificing for his family.  Kasey Cowger, we love you!

Let's Try This Again!

Wow!  It has been FOREVER since I blogged last.  I thought I would enjoy blogging about my first year of teaching, but apparently, I never had time! :)  Well, my first year of teaching went great (four years ago) and my other 2 years of teaching were awesome too!  Life has changed for me though.  We added our third child, Ian Ross, on January 11, 2012 and we decided that I should stay at home this coming school year.  We plan on taking it one year at a time, but I am SUPER excited about this opportunity.  Since my schedule will now look different, I thought I would give this blogging things another go!

So... here goes to second chances! :)